Short Story #1
My husband feels I need photographic evidence that Trader Joe's was, in fact, out of the corn meal crusts. It reminds me of this:
Short Story #2
Do you see this thing? This thing terrorized our family for months. It all started with my friend Dave who loves Halloween as much as we do. He and his wife hosted a Halloween party. I was the most amazing costume of all time -- the one and only DOONEESE!!!! Dave dressed like Jim Henson. His costume inspiration was this old Kermit from his childhood which talks when you press the hands. Weeks after Halloween, he gave the toy to The Dude who loved it so much. Then the Carol Anne shit started to happen. Kermit would start talking in the middle of the night when he was sitting in the crib with The Dude. It freaked us out. It freaked The Dude out. It freaked the man in the drapes out (ooops - wrong creepy kid story. I digress.). So we moved Kermit to the closet where we thought we'd finally exhausted his battery life and had definitely heard him utter his last eerie "Helloooo Kermit THE frog here." But no... this 15-year-old doll with a battery that apparently holds as much power as twelve flaming hot suns managed to talk just fine no matter how much we tried to twist the sound box out of his frog heart. He mostly enjoyed talking between the hours of 2am and 4am. Kermit was finally relegated to the donation pile where he is probably torturing some other innocent family right now.
Short Story #3
Jon's mom is not only a badass of gargantuan proportions, but she is in her 80s and still sends us care packages with the essentials: s'mores fixins, Metamucil, socks, processed cheese. God Bless America.
Short Story #4
For every awesome care package Jon's mom sends, his brother sends the boys equally amazing packages that are almost always a throwback to our youth. Think Labyrinth, Spy glasses, Operation, and Pro Stars hockey!
Short Story #5
Have you seen this commercial from Ikea? The getaway? This is literally what Jon and I feel like every single time we get in the car after saying "see ya" to the boys and the babysitter. Here's proof, taken seconds after getting in the car:
Short Story #6
My brother and me showing off our boss style at Disney. Straw hats. Umbros. Indoor soccer shoes. White Keds.
Short Story #7
My first triathlon. My parents were out of state but they sent a fuel platter to my hotel the night before the race. It was so massive - like it was for a party of 10 - and I felt guilty just throwing it away so I kept it chilled in the bathtub overnight. The cling wrap got loose as the ice melted and the next morning I woke up super early for the race, had forgotten all about the food, opened the shower curtain, and almost passed out when I saw the floating cold cuts and cheese swirling in questionable water.
Short Story #8
This is one of my all time favorite photos of our family (and it would be my very favorite if Croc had been born and was there too). In N Out pit stop on the way to Tahoe. Both males are dialed into their food and I am dialed into a text exchange with one of my best friends in the world who was telling me RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT that she was moving back to San Francisco!! So much to love about this pic.
Short Story #9
There is a man in San Francisco who rides this old fashioned bike around like it's no big deal. I love it. Another only in SF moment.
Short Story #10
If you want to scare the living crap out of your kids, just take them to Musée Mécanique in San Francisco to hear Laughing Sal. The first time we took The Dude to the museum, we thought it would be so cute to have the big doll dance for him. Then we put the quarter inside and realized the creepiness that was about to unfold as a really tall old fashioned doll laughed over our toddler. Parenting fail.
Tell me something about you! Are you starting to think about Halloween yet?